May 4, 2012
The Accidental Date

This week on HH4L Radio, hosts Uche and Lenee discussed “The Friend

Zone” aka that place most people hate to be banished to. During the

show, they also touched on when someone you “friend zoned” tricks you
into a date anyway. Here are some of my experiences with this.

The “Accidental” Date

I don’t know about you, but I must be a magnet for this.

I’ll get asked out on what I think is a casual friend-type situation,
only to later realize along the way that I was somehow coerced into a
“date.” Maybe I am just clueless about reading the signs of when
someone has more than a platonic interest in me.

For instance, when I was in graduate school, this guy suggested after
class that we grab some coffee or food, while discussing an
assignment. The red flags did not rise for me at all.  I figured that
for one, it would be a good idea to make some friends in the program,
and we did have to work on a project, so why not get started?

Silly me.

We find a Japanese spot to eat at, and while discussing the
assignment, he blurts out, “You know that I like you right?”


So, I found myself giving a very diplomatic response of, “You seem
cool too, but I don’t really know you”, shoveling in the rest of my
chicken teriyaki and getting out of there quick fast. I felt tricked
and bamboozled.  And in case you are wondering, I never gave him a
chance and I was wise in doing so.  But, that requires a separate

Another incident that occurred was a bit more sneaky and underhanded.
There was a colleague of mine who I’d exchanged WORK-RELATED emails

with and even had drinks with once, where we discussed WORK-RELATED
things.  Purely platonic stuff, so I thought.  One day he randomly
emails me, suggesting that we get together for drinks and dinner the
following Thursday. I had no plans, so I agreed.
Well, that weekend a male friend shared what he planning to do for his
girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. I had a “light bulb” moment.
Valentine’s Day was THURSDAY.  That fool tried to set me up!  Because
I wasn’t expecting to celebrate it, the date never clicked when he
suggested it. And it’s highly unlikely that we were both unaware of
what day Thursday was. Hmph.

Have you ever invited someone out without stating your true
intentions? Did you get the buns, or did you get dissed?

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